Nathaniel LeMaster

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. 

    *A lady died this past January (2007), and Citibank billed her for February
    and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added
    late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now was somewhere around $60.00.

    A family member placed a call to Citibank. Here is the exchange:

    *Family Member:* “I am calling to tell you she died in January.”

    *Citibank:* “The account was never closed and The late fees and charges still apply.”

    *Family Member:* “Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.”

    * Citibank:* “Since it is two months past due, it already has been.”
    *Family Member:* “So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”

    *Citibank:* “Either report her account to frauds division or report her
    to the credit bureau, maybe both!”

    *Family Member:* “Do you think God will be mad at her?” (I really liked
    this part!!!!)

    *Citibank:* “Excuse me?”

    *Family Member:* “Did you just get what I was telling you? The part
    about her being dead?”

    *Citibank:* “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.”

    (Duh!)

    *Supervisor gets on the phone:*

    *Family Member:* “I’m calling to tell you she died in January.”

    *Citibank:* “The account was never losed and late fees and charges
    still apply.” (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)

    *Family Member:* “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”

    *Citibank:* (Stammering) “Are you her lawyer?”

    *Family Member:* “No, I’m her great nephew.”

    *Citibank:* “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”

    *Family Member:* “Sure.”

    (Fax number is given)

    *After they get the fax::

    *Citibank:* “Our system just isn’t setup for death. I don’t know what
    more I can do to help.”

    *Family Member:* “Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could
    just keep billing her. I don’t think she will care.”

    *Citibank:* “Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.”
    (What is wrong with these people?!?)

    *Family Member:* “Would you like her new billing address?”
    *Citibank:* “That might help.”

    *Family Member:* ” Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.”

    *Citibank:* “Sir, that’s a cemetery!”

    *Family Member:* “What do you do with dead people on your planet?”
    (Priceless!!)